Life is made of beautiful messes. There is often confusion around how we are to behave when a mess happens. Recently I met with a good friend over brunch. We were meeting after several months and had so much to share with each other. As I talked and told her what I had been doing the past few months, she listened closely and then she said a beautiful thing. She said “Ramona, you are growing up.” Her face and voice told me she was happy for me. And then she did another beautiful thing… she immediately shifted, stepped up and engaged me at the level I had reached. We were still talking and sharing but now there was a subtle shift in the way we spoke, in what we shared even.
Have you ever had an experience with someone who had trouble reconciling who you were, with who you have become? Sometimes it’s simply who they think you are in their own minds and refuse to step up and meet you where you are at right now. Often it’s a belief that they have carried and generalized about a subject, like women, or colour or culture or religion. I have often wondered how to handle these beautiful messes that show up in life. Yes they are beautiful, because they help us grow as a person, they give us an opportunity to practice our values, stand up for who we are and what we believe in. But they are also beautiful because we get to love and be kind and exercise patience. They are messy because these are never easy things for me to do. It means making myself vulnerable, being humble and holding my tongue. Sometimes all three at the same time! That is a whole new stretching experience in itself!
I know I am moving on and growing up. I have wondered if I should slow down and wait for everyone else to catch up or should I leave the rest behind? Is that even possible? I don’t know. I don’t have the answer because that answer looks different for each person.
I am only determined to have joy in the process. My experience has taught me to persevere in loving. People always respond to love and even more to persistent love. I have watched lives changed in response to kindness. It’s like suddenly the doors are thrown open and the clouds part and the sun comes out. Something as simple as a smile, being the first one to smile can shift the dynamic.
Raising the standards to honour people in every environment, whether personal, business, corporate or spiritual shifts atmospheres and increases productivity.
Some things are basic and remain eternal. They work every time, in every situation.
Make your messes beautiful. Raise your joy quotient.